For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Monday, January 26, 2009

Ants In My Pants

This morning I got up to get ready for work and there were ants in my pants. I'm not kidding! I walked thru the living room and as my bare feet touched the linoleum floor in the kitchen it appeared that the marble designs on the tile were moving. So, I stoop down and get closer and drats! There to my total amazement is a line of ants marching down the floor, along the baseboards. They are marching in triumph toward the back door and laundry room.

Okay, for those of you who don't know me. I am clinically diagnosed OCD and I am a neat freak to the umpteenth degree so I am scratching my head and wondering: How in the world did these ants get into my house. And then I stepped on it--yes, the clue was stuck to my foot!

The other day I spilled a glass of tea. Well, I didn't really spill it--it went from here to eternity. My hand hit the refrigerator door and tea splattered everywhere. It was on the fridge, on the dining room table, all over the floor. It continued to the counter that separates the kitchen from the entry way. It splattered all over the living room carpet and hit the tile in the entry way. Now, the whole time I am observing all the wet spots I am asking myself: "How in the world did a cup holding between 8-10 ozs. do this much damage?" While pondering this I go and get some papertowels to soak up the puddles. Yes, there were puddles. Then I go and get the mop and that was probably my first mistake.

I was in a hurry to get somewhere so instead of taking the time to make a bucket of soapy water I simply wet the mop and then proceeded to mop up the spill. Well, we should have called in the Coast Guard to clean up--it was that much, but it was only 8-10 ozs.!! Well, I "thought" I did a pretty good job cleaning it up. Obviously I didn't because the ants were marching along the sticky trail of sweet tea that had dried.

Well, after I watch the ants marching in formation. I wonder: "What exactly do they think they are going to get off of these floors?" Shoot, I barely eat anything so it's not like they are going to get crumbs or food droppings. Do they really want to soak up some sweet tea? They must be true southern ants because we love our sweet tea here in the south. After much contemplation the day of reckoning draws nigh. I go to the laundry room and get the broom. Yep, I sweep all the floors and send those ants airborn, out the back door. When they land in their final destination they will believe that they have taken a trip around the world!

Next, I call the office and tell them of my problem and that I am going to take time off to get my house in order. I spray the baseboards and let them dry. Then, I retreat back to the laundry room--this time I am going to make a bucket of warm sudsy water and mop the floor. I love to clean house but oh, I can't stand to mop and dust. Well, the powers that be must know that this is a pain for me because guess what? I do not have any Pine Sol. Now I could go to the store and buy some more but it is raining out side so I inspect the floors and see that there are no more ants moving around. I will get a wet cleaning rag and I will clean the floors that way.

Then the thought occurs to me. I probably put the ants on a Biblical journey. See, I sent them airborn--since it was raining outside it's as if they were on the Ark and they have landed. I don't think they landed on Mt. Ararat but they are somewhere and in their opinion, they are far from the likes of Gigi's place.

Moral of the story: If you make a mess clean it up!

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